Life doesn’t always go my way…
by Anne Holly
Summary: I had a nightmare... it inspired with a story about Severus Snape life... Is he evil? Or is he good?


"He's your son too." Screamed the black haired woman.  
  
"He is my son, but you're the mother." The man shouted back. "Start acting like one."  
  
"Don't you dare tell me!" The woman shrieked. "Your never home, you never bring enough money back, you probably don't even know your own son's name. Your telling me that I don't act like a mother; you're the one that doesn't act like a father."  
  
A little boy with black hair sat on the corner of his steel bed. He cried silently to himself. He looked around his room. His toys were all second handed and broken. His steel bed started to rust. There was a pot in the middle of his room for the dripping water leaking from the roof. Severeus Snape walked to the window of his room at looked out of it. He could see the moon hidden behind the factories and laundry lines of other households. The alley beneath was full of creepy sounds, but he was use to them. He went back to his bed and curled up into a ball thinking about his miserable life.  
  
"Your crazy!" The man shouted.  
  
"If I am crazy then your insane!" The women cried.  
  
The door slammed shut and sobbing sounds reached Severeus's ears.  
  
"Where's daddy?" "Why do they have to fight? Am I the problem?"  
  
Tears rolled down his face.  
  
"I hate them."  
  
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Snape's View  
  
Father never came back. He did send money, but it was barley enough to cover mother's gambling depths. Loan sharks threaten to slaughter us; mother and I ran for it. There was a period of time when we sleep on the floor of a relative's house. Aunt Dona was that special relative. She was strict and nasty. Aunt Dona was grandmother's sister. She loved to show off her pretty things in front of mother and me. Her granddaughter was called Charlotte. She was the first girl I fell in love with, but she was just the same. I tried to impress her by flying her toy broom, but it was a disaster. She laughed and snickered; she broke my broken heart. I ran...  
  
"Charlotte, Aunt Dona, you'll regret."  
  
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4 years later...  
  
Mother and I settled down in our own house. The state was worst than our previous house, but we were away from Aunt Dona. Mother was out everyday, leaving me all alone. I had nothing to do, but sit and wonder about Dad. Finally that day came when my owl arrive. Hogwarts School had admitted me. I knew then that Hogwarts would allow me to express my power and knowledge.  
  
"I'll prove to you Charlotte."  
  
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Train Station...  
  
That windy day will never be forgotten because it blew the remaining pieces of my heart away. I saw my father. He looked exactly the same. He was a driver, door opener, and shoe licker for a boy. The boy strutted around ordering father to carry his trunks. Father left home to be a door opener for this stupid boy. Did father like this stupid boy more than me? Did he remember that he had a son? I dropped everything on to the floor...  
  
"Father...I hate you."  
  
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Second day of Class...  
  
I saw the stupid boy. I wanted revenge, so I attacked. I cornered him and shot a spell. My spell had no effect. I tried it again, no effect. I was bewildered. The stupid boy laughed.  
  
"If you want to bet me, James Henry Potter," The boy said, "you need more than that."  
  
The boy went off laughing followed by his idiotic friends.  
  
"James Henry Potter, I will break every bone in your body."  
  
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Second day on...  
  
I study all the hexes third years were to know by the end of my first year. I spent my summer in a wizard library, looking up jinxes and poisons. I mastered poisons easily; it came naturally. By the third year, I was knew enough to permanently damage someone's brain. Fifth year, I knew more curses than any seventh year student. Seventh year, I out wit my potions teacher; I knew I could do anything now.  
  
"I am ready to prove my power."  
  
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A year later...  
  
My mother betrayed me. She remarried a Potter; Henry Potter's youngest brother. How could she do this? I've been a good son. I came to her every holiday. I gave her all the money I earned by doing potions homework for other students. Isn't that enough? She betrayed me.  
  
"Why are people so cruel?"  
  
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Two years later...  
  
Lord Voldemort summon me to him. He understands my pain and sufferings. He promises to protect and guild me to greatness. I finally found home. The Dark Lord and I will be together.  
  
"Father, Mother, your dead to me."  
  
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Two months...  
  
The Dark Lord told me I was his greatest follower. I had given everything to him. He knows I do, unlike mother. I wonder how she is.  
  
"Mother, where are you?"  
  
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One year...  
  
Lord Voldemort demanded me to murder someone in my family tree. I immediately though of Charlotte and Aunt Dona. When I reached Charlotte's house, I blasted her door open. I found her in her bedroom. Charlotte was shocked to see me. Was she happy?  
  
"Severeus, I haven't seen you in such a long time." Charlotte said.  
  
I ignored her.  
  
"Will you stay for tea?" She asked kindly.  
  
I gaped at her. She was asking me to stay.  
  
"I came here to kill." I stated.  
  
Charlotte took a step back clutching her baby. The baby started to cry. I went numb.  
  
"Why?" Charlotte asked. "Why do you want to kill us?"  
  
I didn't answer, I didn't know even know the answer.  
  
"My baby's only 4 weeks." She said shaken. "Please don't kill him. He's everything to me. Kill me and leave him, please."  
  
She got down to her knees and begged. My heart stopped.  
  
What am I doing? Why should I kill her? What has she done to deserve this?  
  
I dropped my wand and sank to the floor.  
  
I screamed. I didn't know what to do. I felt my brain blowing up. But, I suddenly felt a warm hand on my face. I looked up and found Charlottes' beautiful face.  
  
"Severeus, I know you're a good person." Charlotte said softly. "You are."  
  
I bit my lip at the though.  
  
"Don't waste your life on something you don't want." Charlotte said. "Life is too short."  
  
I looked into her violet eyes. I found warmth.  
  
"Listen, I am sorry for making fun of you." She said sadly. "I was young and brainless. Will you forgive me?"  
  
I looked at her and then at the baby. I nodded gingerly. I leaned forwards and kissed the baby on the cheek. I knew from that day on that I couldn't follow the Dark Lord.  
  
"I can't deny the light."  
  
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Three years...  
  
I wandered around London, around muggles, everyday. When money ran short, I slept on the streets. I didn't have anywhere to go. I had to hide from the Dark Lord. I knew my life was going anywhere, even though, I physically were. I was falling into a deep hole of misery. I had to escape...  
  
"Where am I going?"  
  
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One year...  
  
Dumbledore took me in. He found me sleeping on the floor outside of London. He asked me to work for him as a potions teacher. He was giving me a second chance. I took it. Life was better. I wasn't cold or hungry; I had clean cloths and a decent dorm.  
  
"I am satisfied."  
  
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Ten years...  
  
Potters back. How I dreaded this day. He had killed the Dark Lord. He was coming to Hogwarts. How will I treat him? I know not. When I finally saw him at the starting feast; I couldn't help mistaken him for James Henry Potter. I loathe him. All Potters are the same.  
  
"He will pay."  
  
I saved his life. I couldn't believe I did when I muttered a counter curse to prevent him from falling off his stupid broom. I shouldn't have. If he fell, all his bones would have broken. I promised myself to see his bones break. I could have managed it.  
  
"I will never save him again."  
  
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Two years...  
  
Revenge lurked around the corner when I found Sirius Black. He was James Henry Potter's best friend. He strutted around with James. I remember... I loathe him too. I found my opportunity. I was going to hand him over to the Dementors, but Harry saved him. How I hated Potter. He let him escape. I had Sirius Black clutched in my palms, but he ran. I shall murder him the next time.  
  
"Never again."  
  
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Four years...  
  
Potter's last year; I am delighted. He had caused enough misery to my life. When he leaves, I shall be back to normal.  
  
"I shall be joyous."  
  
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Eight months...  
  
The Order of the Phoenix is ready to fight. The Dark Lord rises to his greatest strength. I fear him every time my scar burns. I hope I do not see him. To my bad lucky, I do. He and Potter are having a battle of life and death. I wish that Potter dies. I watch in the corner. The Dark Lord struck Potter with a blinding curse. Voldemort was ready to kill. He steps closer and closer. Then I realised my fault...  
  
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Potter can't die... I've hated him all my life, but I actually didn't. It was jealousy... I wished I were him. I wished I were James Henry Potter... I wished I could use Father like him. I wanted Father to love me. I want Mother to stay by my side. I wanted to win the Quidditch Cup and make my friends like me. I wanted to have someone love me like Lily Evans... I wished I were as brave as him. I wished I were a Potter. Life is so unfair...  
  
The unfairness of life saved me. I finally accepted it. I found the key of life. I understand...  
  
"I use to think, I had the answers to everything, but now I know, life doesn't always go my way. I feel like I am caught in the middle, but I realised I've been going around in circles."  
  
I ran out from my finding place. I sprinted towards Lord Voldemort.  
  
"Crucio." He cursed.  
  
I grabbed his wand and snapped it into half. The power was so great that it hit me with several other curses.  
  
Harry awoke. My body shuddered violently. I fell on the floor. The pain at my heart went numb. Harry came to my side.  
  
"Professor." He said frantically.  
  
"Harry..." I said weakly. "I am sorry...I've been such an pain."  
  
"Professor..."Harry said with tears. "You can't die."  
  
"Harry..." I said with my last breath. "Your truly your father's son."  
  
I felt Harry's hot tear spatter my face. Everything around me went blurry and then it went black...  
  
"Life doesn't always go my way..."  
  
Please review. Tell me what you think... 


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